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Construction Despite a Lack of Thumbs - by ozwalled

Construction Despite a Lack of Thumbs

First off, I'd like to say that this is my very first article for the site. But since it may or may not see the light of day, I'll not dwell on that.

What I'd like to address is Chris's Earthboundology 1.2 article about how the buildings and ladders of Saturn Valley could have come to be.

I very much like the telekinesis idea (given that Mr. Saturns are almost completely composed of head, one could hypothesize some pretty impressive brains would be contained within -- it wouldn't be too hard to believe that the extra brain mass that the Saturns have could be used for some sort of psychokinetic abilities... well, maybe anyway). On the other hand, I think other possibilities exist that could be explored. This is one that I considered.

Applying the principle of parsimony, we'll look at the simplest possibility. Given that the Saturns haven't much for limbs (at least not ones that seem very suitable for putting building together, at first glance), let's suppose, much like the "Neptunian" hypothesis that someone else created the Saturns' architecture. I don't see any reason why the buildings and ladders couldn't be remnants of an abandoned human settlement, do you? Sure, some of the ladders are pretty oddly positioned, but maybe at some point they served a purpose... as a matter o' fact, that could well have something to do with why the settlement was abandoned by its previous human residents. The way I see it, they (the many ladders) might have been being used for the express purpose of conducting repairs that had been needed. Repairs might have been needed due to fire or perhaps because of an invading faction of humans. Whatever the case, the small settlement wouldn't have been worth salvaging and the humans left it.

This idea might seem like no more than a stab in the dark at first, but there could be some basis for it. That basis is the hot spring. Modern and primitive societies alike have consistently marvelled at the invigorating warmth of such hot springs... This spring, however, is quite likely even more special than any we might be familiar with from our lives: not ONLY does it have some legitimate restorative powers but heck, if that's what the Mr. Saturns are brewing their coffee with, it's some seriously potent stuff. This is the sort of things that shamans, sorcerers and such would just FLOCK to for the sake of a vision or out-of-body experience.

Which brings me back to the possibility that whoever had built the Saturns' buildings may have been chased out of the Valley. With such a potent source of hallucinogenic water available, human nature almost DEMANDS some sort of holy war to be waged. That could have led to the damaging of the buildings, requiring ladders to fix those hard to reach places.

Thus, it's not SO far-fetched that people (and not some sort of other species or aliens) could have used the Valley either as a settlement or a religious site and eventually abandoned it before the Saturns arrived to make it their home...

A problem still remains, though: if some primitive tribe ousted another one from the valley after some sort of invasion or a series of invasions, why didn't they just stay in the Valley to reap the benefits of the magical spring water? THIS may be where the Mr. Saturns come into the picture. With the feud of the clans over, those who took over the Valley would have been working on finishing the repairs begun by the Valley's previous residents (or maybe the second tribe was the one who started the repairs... no matter...), the Mr. Saturns come along (which, according to them, were "many" at one point, before Belch came along to foul things up). The human residents, having never seen such creatures before (or heard anything quite like them, for that matter), could have understandably been frightened off by them, maybe even seeing their arrival as some sort of divine punishment for stealing the pool and conquering the Valley or something. With their numbers dwindling as a result of the inter-tribal conflict, the frightened humans would have run for the hills... or maybe they just felt uncomfortable around the Saturns because there was no way to make peace with them by shaking hands.

The Saturns, of course, would have just shown up to see what all the commotion was all about (the war), and being a friendly lot, might have waited around for the humans to return to say "hi". In waiting around, they must have realized that the Valley was a pretty swell place for food and that the water made some really kickin' coffee, clinching their decision to adopt the place as their own.

It's crazy, I know, but there's even more evidence of all of this (I know, I know: I can't believe it either). The very fact that they react to Ness and company without a hint of fear or real wonder tends to indicate that the Saturns have had at least one run-in with humans before, and more importantly, that any such encounter was non-volatile in nature (of course, this could be yet another demonstration of exceptional psi abilities of the Saturns, which would include telepathy).

The only thing I can see that doesn't quite fit into this whole idea is where and how the Mr. Saturns picked up on the English language (or Japanese, I guess, if you're playing Mother 2 and not EarthBound). But I'll leave that for someone ELSE to figure out.

Okay, so looking back, maybe this ISN'T the simplest solution to how Saturn Valley's ladders and houses could have come to be (I guess that they could be making stuff much in the same manner that beavers do, or wasps do...). Oh well.


Other Submissions by ozwalled

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
ozwalled Double Burger
Cave Boy vs. Double Burger. Somehow, I think the burger may be outmatched.
8/3/06 9.00
ozwalled The Exorcism of Demonic Petunia
A really dumb Exorcist spoof. I like how the pea soup vomit turned out, and hopefully the shodows convey the idea that the bed is supposed to be floating.

Then again, it's just silliness.
8/4/06 9.00
ozwalled Rockman
Petrified Royal Guard. OH, if only I had the talent of Mike Mignola...
7/30/07 9.00
ozwalled GIGANTIC PICTURE
Ness vs. a Gigantic Ant, and that bug don't stand a chance.
8/29/05 9.00
ozwalled Starwoman: EB Memoirs
A collaboration design with Cap'n Muffin and chuggaaconroy for their EarthBound: Memoirs game. Art by me. Ideas partly mine, partly theirs.
6/19/06 8.78

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